Gwyneth Paltrow from the November issue of Elle Magazine
Gwyneth Paltrow from the November issue of "Elle" magazine

Born attractive, talented, charming with rich, well-connected parents, a seven-year stable marriage and two children.  A media darling with an Oscar©.

Gweneth Paltrow‘s only problem is that she must deflect class-warfare critiques while choking on jewels and drowning in Dom Perignon.

The trend is to flaunt your creepy childhood, real or embellished to feel the working stiff’s pain.  So what is poor Gweneth to do?

Well, Paltrow isn’t exactly playing the sympathy card but she did dig deep to find something (by interior monologue or calculated indignation) to whine about. 

Elle magazine knows hoopla and there’s no story (or international blog trending hits) without histrionics, so when they probed Paltow for a rags to riches quote-line they hit pay dirt.   It didn’t take waterboarding to jiggle her memory and get fitish about past – present Hollywood.

“There’s a lot that’s okay, but there’s little that’s really good, especially for someone my age,” enfeebled Paltrow said from her death bed. “…sometimes you find out that something you really liked is going to someone 10 years younger.”  Meantime she’s starring in Iron Man 2, Country Strong is out later this year and she stars in Steven Soderbergh‘s Contagion a little later.

Paltrow may be on the A-list with script first-looks, but Hollywood still leaves a bad taste in her mouth.

Take a few years back before she was a decrepit old hag.

“When I was just starting out, someone suggested that we finish a meeting in the bedroom.  I left.  I was pretty shocked.” It’s no wonder since Paltrow‘s film producer-director father Bruce and actress mother Blythe Danner kept her locked in a monastery before unleashing her to greasy casting directors (just kidding).

“I could see how someone who didn’t know better might worry, ‘My career will be ruined if I don’t give this guy a (she uses an old vernacular describing an erectile oral pleasure-principle stimulus)!’”
The next years must have been hell, pure hell!  Paltow told Vogue magazine in April that “I can be mean.  I can cave in to gossip.  I can ice people out and I can definitely harbor revenge.”

A mouthful of silver spoons by birth, a diva by temperament,  kvetching by design.

Nothing quite like feeling sorry for yourself.  And be careful what you wish for.

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