Paris Hilton mug shot

Web-hogger Paris Hilton got face time again without even trying.

Someone whose name we won’t give fleeting infamy to allegedly got into a fight with Hilton’s private dicks after he bike-peddled to the semi-star’s front door banging her doorbell.  LAPD, who didn’t have anything better to do, arrived faster than you could shout lunchtime and arrested the guy for battery.

TMZ reports that the suspect told cops that he knew Hilton, showing that the idiot has a stupider alibi than his (alleged) prey, although you might wonder (if his intentions were honorable) what his line to Hilton would have been?  ‘Hey baby, want to get in my lap while we bicycle back to my trailer for a beer and bond?’

For all his trouble just to get close to his heroine, the suspect got thrown in the joint with 20-grand on his head.

If we were cynical we might suspect that the door-knocker was really Hilton’s coke deliver boy, but that’s page six stuff.  A wild-eyed stalking lunatic with loving hate in his intentions is as front page attention-getting as a shark attack.

It’s also been said that if one threw a net over Paris Hilton’s mansion they’d catch most of the imbiciles in L.A. anyway.

posted by Carny Mike Cartel