Alleged 1986 mug shot of Danielle Staub

With all the melodrama of a 19th century potboiler, Real Housewives of New Jersey star Danielle (Beverly Ann Merrill) Staub is going to improv her own (unscripted) scene in a videotaped deposition, according to TMZ sleuthing.

The bromide unfolds on a dark and stormy night with the damsel (Staub) telling hushed jurists that her (monstrous?) ex-husband, Kevin Maher is a dirty, filthy liar (not her words).  Maher, while twirling his long mustache (not really) is suing his ex-wife (the fair Danielle Trueheart) for a dasterdly five mill (American) because he says, she says that he killed the family dog, raped her on a bed of nails (broken glass) and jammed a pistol (the metallic variety with bullets) into a cavernous area somewhere between her upper and lower groin.  All this, Maher pleads, has ruined his reputation and was directly responsible for a pillow-full of tears (the last 10 words of the preceding sentence are not true).

Staub says she never said all that he said and then said that Mayer is already ruined (his reputation, that is).  So, can you insult, malign, slander, libel serial murdering Charley Manson by saying that he also kidnapped the Lindbergh baby?

After the lady in the case finished intrepid testimony with trembling lips, she fought sobs with a straight line of courage while gracefully lumbering past the audience where there wasn’t a dry nose in the courtroom.  The line about the dog, glass and gun was actually true.