Billy Ray Cyrus

Country music star Billy Ray Cyrus and his famously not so famous son Trace (not his daughter Miley) will be “investigating” the ghostly campsites and Martian hideouts (the press release was even sillier) of the trillion-dollar occult sucker industry.  The Syfy network said today that it will start shooting UFO: Unbelievably Freakin’ Obvious, a new reality show where Cyrus and son Trace will fearlessly face-down true believers and argue (the negative {of}) common-sense reasons to supernatural (appeal to ignorance) idiot loops.

“Getting the opportunity to take this adventure with my son, who has always had a keen interest in this area, is a dream come true,” said Cyrus. “I hope this series can shine a light on some of the activities we have questioned, and the mysteries that have long inspired us.”

“…always had a keen interest in this area?”  “the mysteries that have long inspired us?”  Billy Ray is a genuinely nice man, and so humble that he would likely not talk (even in print) like he was doing uppity imitations of Queen Victoria the elder.  Apparently the ghostwriter was terrified that anything less pretentious would be too hillbilly.

Mark Stern, Vice President of original programming for Syfy says that “Allegations of cover-up and conspiracy around unexplained phenomena has inspired heated debate for decades, and it will be interesting to see what truth Billy Ray and Trace may discover.”  If the news release publicist was my newspaper re-writer I might ask her to give me 500-words without once using the word ‘inspired.’

I know what you’re thinking, “Is there more to this show than a really clever name?” Well, Dan Aykroyd tried a similar idea with PSI Factor: Chronicles of the Paranormal, but he was a true believer, and while it had the odor of sanctimony, it seemed more like a platform for his countless conspiracy and Martians-are-coming hysterias.  If the Cyrus and Son show actually tries to debunk the issue (exposing the man behind the curtain) then there may be a much smaller audience.  There aren’t many who’ll watch a show saying that flying saucers don’t exist, aside from myself and James The Amazing Randi.

Remember that Aykroyd’s PSI Factor lasted for 88 shows, and ten percent believe that Elvis is still alive, and most believe in ghosts and Judas Priest-knows what-all. Contrast that with the handful of viewers who watch science faction subjects on Nova.  One show is a license to print money and the other is a pink paycheck for your vice president of programming job.

P.T. Barnum was wrong, there’s a sucker born every split second.