The Book of Eli is – surprise – a post-apocalyptic tale that follows a man wandering across America protecting a sacred book with secrets to save humankind. Wow, and isn’t that just a tall order? Normally brothers Albert and Allen Hughes have interesting ways to evoke emotion and horror, but Eli, starring Denzel Washington, Mila Kunis and Gary Oldman is not their best work. However, it just may be the goriest, post-apocalyptic slasher flick ever.

Jackie Chan stars as The Spy Next Door, a silly comedy where a former CIA operative (Chan) looks after some neighborhood kids, who all try desperately to make his life miserable. The lunacy shifts into overdrive when one of the children accidentally downloads a top-secret formula. A way too familiar formula from where we sit.